A bid with my Bed

I sat on my bed,
The very bed
that had been such a good friend of mine
For I, like a good friend too, confided
All that in my heart lay
My bed cuddled me off
Into a warm sleep like each day
And thought as I
And dreamt as I
Only one man blocked the way
That many people normally share
They talk, they walk, they ware
And like flowing water
They go out of my dreams
The man who came this day
Had just been a part of that earlier flow
But sooner and sooner
Apart the flow he became steady
More than a river
More than that flow
With his progress slow
He built a dam on that river
Constricting
The flow of water
The flow of people
And there he stood as if he were
The ruler of my mind
He came to me, caressed me
With an arm around, he kissed me
And with a start I woke
Not knowing right or wrong
And my bed-my friend said
It's not wrong I feel,
Said my trusty wise bed.
May be, my dear.. no more can I
Cuddle you how did I
The man in your dreams
I feel, is better than I.
And I lived the illusion,
I lived that dream.
And then was my sleep disturbed…
Nothing factually existed..
It was just a mask…
Which neither could guess nor know
And sufferer is I,
Who dreamt and dreamt,
And never realized
That dreams and reality
Are totally different !
I now wake up
I now understand
It’s my loyal bed that’s invaluable
And not the other way round !

Monologues

I’m the shine of the gold
I’m the wisdom of the old

I’m the polish of the paint
I’m the holiness of the saint

I’m the faith that won’t falter
I’m the eyes that won’t water

I’m the point of the thorn
I’m the redness of the dawn

I’m the charity of the tree
I’m the freedom of the free

I’m the majesty of the eagle
I’m the zest of the struggle

I’m the freshness of the bath
I’m the leader of the path

I’m the cheer in the smile
I’m the water in the Nile

I’m the gift of the giving
I’m the life of the living

I’m the scorn of the sun
I’m the roast of the bun

I’m the fickleness of the boy
I’m the novelty of the toy

I’m the aurora of the north
I’m the step put forth

I’m the vision of the eye
I’m Death to make you die

I’m the height of the tower
I’m the nectar of the flower

I’m the yes in the nod
I’m the straightness of the rod

I’m the pleasure in the joy
I’m the blush of the coy

I’m the platinum of the mine
I’m the addiction of the wine

I’m the living of the niche
I’m the money of the rich

I’m the splurge of the feast
I’m the sun of the east

I’m the freshest of the food
I’m the best of the good

I’m the awe of the wonder
I’m the roar of the thunder

I’m the characteristic of creation
I’m the loyalty of devotion

I’m the victory of the victor
I’m the defeat of the loser

I’m the passion in the bed
I’m the memory of the dead

I’m the tempest of the rains
I’m the deepest of the pains

I’m the lead of the role
I’m the spirit of the soul

I’m the blade of the sword
I’m the might of the Lord

I’m the wit of the smart
I’m the love of the heart

I’m the brain of the wise
I’m the luck of the dice

I’m the gloom of the sad
I’m the worst of the bad

I’m the falsehood in the lie
I’m the farewell in the ‘bye’

I’m the charm of the spell
I’m the burn of the hell

I’m the catcher in the rye
I’m the vastness of the sky

I’m the ‘why not?’ in the ‘why?
I'm the will you can’t destroy

Pray tell me, who am I?
Pray tell me, who am I?

A shot.. Love

I sit on my chair right now.. I a wearing my usual night dress.. my spectatcles in their usual front of my eyes.. Me typing.. Usual sight..
And so wrong as well !!

Right now, at this moment, everything for me has become miraculously cold.. I had this feeling about exactly a year back, and about exactly another year back.. I have been a fighter all my life, trying to avoid all the mistakes I have committed in my past..
And yes, I have been successful enough not to repeat them all, but only to wander through new roads of sufferance.

I dont really know why I really am existing. I dont feel any reason for myself to do so. The Geeta says it right- Karmanyevaadhikaarastey Maa Faleshu Kadaachana. It rightfully means that Do everything and exercise all your rights, But never expect a fruit.

For an ardent fan of mangoes like me, today it seems like opening up and cutting every mango in the world and finding it full of worms... Worms that destruct all the sweetness of the mango. But still, look at the mango, it did its work of being sweet. No matter how ungrateful the worms are, the mango remains to be sweet. No matter how cruel a crushing hand is, but it still is scented by the fragrance of the crushed flower. No matter how vain the moon may become and cast an eclipse shadow on the sun, the sun still is what it was earlier. In fact not just that, but it also continues to enlighten the moon.

What I want to say is, dont they understand love?
Doesnt the worm understand that it would die if the mango doesnt feed him? It's mango's love.
Doesnt the hand understand that it is so rustic without the floral scent? It's the flower's love.
Doesnt the moon understand that it is lightless and lifeless without the sun? It's the sun's love.

Why cant love be responded? Why cant somebody hear when I shout and scream and cry and yell and beg? It's my love. And inspite of being eaten or crushed or shadowed, that love still remains. It is love that runs the world. Aren't we formed out of the love between our parents? Werent we nurtured by our mother's love? Dont we have everything to share with friends who love us so much? Dont we have a partner with whom we are whatever we are not? Then why cant anybody understand this love? And is it really a fault to love?

When you care for somebody inspite of how they are to you, that's love. When you bear somebody inspite of that person not understanding you, that's love. When you just walk from outside the road and let your love be in, just for you don't want them hurt, baby, then that's love. When you just see into somebody's eyes, and you remain silent, but everything is talked without words, that's love. When you want somebody to be with you in whatever your endeavours are, that's love. When you are there to support somebody in all their blues, that's love. Love isn't just a phrase to say I Love You. There's such a whole depth behind it. ANd when you really don't know how deep you are in it, but you still are in it, that's love. When you don't sleep a whole night because you have been worried about that person the whole day, that's love. When you don't look at anybody other than that person, because you feel guilty, that's love.

It's nothing less than that, my dear...
It's all about love.



I'm not great or good or nice or beautiful or charming or pleasant or wise by any means. I accept I'm not worthy of anything half as good as you.
But love simply is.


November 25th, 2008
8-40pm.

My concept of happiness

A sweet today calls for nothing but enjoyment and relishing of it. My concept of happiness lies in enjoying anything and everything that comes forth. That makes one find happiness in very small things like seeing the shades of the horizon at sunrise, smelling a beautiful rose in the garden, seeing a baby's smile, relishing my favorite dish or may it be even playing hopscotch with one's younger sibling. Indeed there's so much happiness while having a hot cup of tea on a cool morning, or to meet one's best friend or even helping one's mother in her chores. There is a lot of happiness even in enjoying games, studies and work by one's own will. Pessimists say that sorrow has uncountable forms but they fail to realise that happiness has even more manifestations. By enjoying all the aspects of life, we become happy, and this in turn, develops a positive outlook towards life. This happiness also doesnt stop us, but in turn, boosts us to work harder, be more focussed, and by default...to be happier. Life is a gift given to s by Him, and we shall be using it to the maximum only when we enjoy everything that it offers.

Afterall, God is.. of small things !

Enjoyment

It's not enough to watch the rain to know what it is.. Go ahead... feel it.. sense it... Dance in it, forgetting the couture... and then you'll really know what rain is..
When comes the wind, dont just stand and pass a lame, stupid comment as for how nice it feels... just go ahead closing your eyes and spreading your arms...
And here comes the wind to hug you and blow you off into ecstacy...
Go and climb the mountains... Tramp and fall... but rise high... And when you reach the top, you know what it means to be 'over and above all'...!

India In The New Millenium

Now as the new millenium commences, a different form of world is uploaded.This enhanced world starts from the silicon chip smaller than an ant to the myths of the ever-expanding universe.And as the scope for development increase, India has made its mark... politically, powerfully, intellectually and spiritually !

Back in 1947, when India won independence, it had merely become a free country. It had no great asset, in fact, it was like some backward African country, totally looted of wealth, with lack of resources, wide social and economic gaps which seemd impossible to be bridged, as also with a status as good as 'bankrupt' from thw World Bank. But not even a century has passed, that India has regained her former status of a golden sparrow. She is now firm in all the fields of power, politics and resources. She has made a witty use of her unually excess population. By increasing industries and encouraging entrepreneurs, she also gave the daily bread to crores of jobless youth. More work led to higher prosperity. Thus, slowly but steadily gaining power, today India stands tall in the world, with global eyes focussed on her and her strategies. The most successful democracy as she is, India now stands as the first country to successfully face the countries of the world, considering all of them as her friends. Even in times of calamities like the tsunamis, India politely rejected international help and proved its newly gained competency and self-sufficience.

India is gaining a powerful stand in the main economic sector too. The sensex has quadrupled in just a matter if 5 years, which undoubtedly is amazing for a country's development. If such continues the development, it is estimated that India would take over the USA by 2020.!! The main share goes to the emerging IT sector. India also plays the proud motherland of the 26 of the world's 729 billionaires !

India has always, and so also is currently been playing the role of a giver. Not only in terms of humanity, but also for spirituality, unity and morality. Though the external lifestyle of Indians has adapted to the changing globe, their genes have not. Indians still value feelings. They do not count their living only fot money or fame but mainly for their own loved ones, their society who made them, the national personalities who inspired them, their country for whom their blood urges and also for their respect for one another. The rich Indin culture is the root of their mental strength. Indians have made it possible for India, the honourable postion, from the earlier one that of a helpless shackled prisoner; and this has been attained only through untiring efforts.
At the golden hour of India's independence, ie, on 15th August 1947, Prime Minister Jawaharlal Nehru had quoted, "Long years ago, we made a tryst with destiny. And now the time comes when we shall redeem our pledge; not wholly or in full measure, but substantially... At this hour, when the world sleeps, India awakes to life and freedom !!"
And so did India, by the virtue of her thousand glorious sons ! Now we pledge to carry on the above promise, to redeem it to full measure... to bring India to high lights, to create an aura of her culture, to create a majesty of her existence, and to create the India-of your-and-my dreams !
So, as our motherland creates a place in history, and takes charge of the new millenium, let us all come together and dream high, strive hard, aim great...!
When something high is aimed, a percent of it is gained...
And afterall, low aim is a crime, right?

Jai Hind !

Every once in a while, when you sit in the window, just 7 soreys above ground level, thinking of actually what to think upon, and you fnally know what you are supposed to be thinking.. It's just those thoughts about whatever happens around you grip you, and close so.. and never seem to release you. You practically are thinking what to think but those thoughts, and nothing comes into your focus except those very thoughts you are trying to get rid of..
Today itself, I was chatting to this friend of mine whom I met about 7 or 8 years. We were friends together, but ways parted, and we found each other after these long years, so it was rather exciting to speak to him. Strangely enough, we'd matured into teens from tweens, and he asked me,"Ojas do you think I have changed?"
Now many of you would rate it as a really stupid question, considering that 7 or 8 years do make a hell of a difference... But folks, wasn't that an important one as well?
Yes, we have both changed. He, in his ways, and I,in mine. But hasn't he left a memory of what he was years back, in the realms of my mind? Similarly, I too, have left an impression of what I was about 7 or 8 years back in his mind. And with 1 question of his, I realise how much have I changed.. How much have my surroundings changed.. How much have people around me changed !

I remember wearing green shirt on yellow pants, and blue earrings, something that's a strict no-no now[unless you're a model flaunting a Rohil Bal] ! I remember when a 50 paise Halls would excite a pound of my adrenaline, but now even the huge mulp of Ferrero Rocher does nothing to me ! I remember when my best friend had tied me a rakhi for a friendship day, and I flaunted it for seven days in due honour to my friend, but now I have my hands full with friendship bands, all worthless as none of them is my true friend ! I remember how great an experience it was to have a small Vadilal ice-cream cup on my own, but now the routine of gellato makes it tasteless too! I remember coming back from first day of school, and narrating the episode 10 times separately to each of my family members, but now I return from college each day, only to study and get lost in my routine ! I remember lighting a diya, and pondering how beautiful it was, but now even the Crystal Hall seems less !

And yes.. It's really shocking !
Thanks, dude !

We really must all turn to what we earlier were.. simple, innocent kids, having more sense than what we have now !

Heavenly status..!

Indeed...I have fallen in love with life, trying to compose a new symphony of the curled strings of this beautiful life... The morning sun comes, filling me with a freshness, that reminds of the gentle breeze tossing off a white skirt !!The careful art of nature finds the masterpiece in our hearts..!!Oh !! How beautiful is man !! And his tender feelings... His childlike nuances about life seem so filthy when you see this real beauty !!The fickle mind awes at external selves, but how can it so carelessly miss the handsomeness inside !!How could I too, miss all this? And that too, with all its enchantments??But as this year commenced... I see all pink and red... with its dashes and hues and tints... And lo !! What a beautiful scenario !!

And slowly behind this PC screen... I blush scarlet ! Only, to confess the reason for the above written fact..
It's all a One Man Show !

Him.... God !

Though quite concurred that God be a topic for senseless chatter of the Old, I do not coincide. I believe God is some supernatural force which isn't any force too. Well, rather let's call him a driving force... not for the things that happen around us, but for the thought in our minds which makes things happen around us.

I'm no atheist to deny God, or His existence. But I am not a blind follower of God either. Einstein has put it, "Science without religion is lame. Religion without science is blind." I agree. Would a person pray for hours to God and just get his proficiencies? Or would he pray to God for a couple of minutes, and then persevere to gain his proficiencies?

Praying over to God before doing any task isn't just a tradition, but it is justified scientifically. When we close our eyes and join our hands and pray sincerely, automatically our brain gets a fresh flow of blood, and our concentration is highly boosted, which in its turn helps us to achieve our goal.

Sometimes when I wonder... who might have brought about this concept of God? I would like to believe that "God" might have been the only answer to the perenniel river of questions. Whatever is beyond human understanding.. is God !! Be it the gene in the machine, or the living cells in the dead body !!! Highly controversial, highly contradictary... but impeccably true !

A decent answer to the very same question might have also been that God is a social tool to regulate minds. When a child is born, itis highly dependent on others for its survival. But when he matures- phisiologically, physically and psychologically, he tends to defend others for his selfish motives. This attitude results into heinous crimes, as believed by many, and also me. God-fearing people generally shy away from ill-deeds, for they are really afraid of the punishments He would award them. May even be for this reason, but they do NOT commit crimes, and social peace is maintained. Thus it is a very important tool for controlling a person internally.

I happen to have a desire in my heart to speak something else regarding God. About god being created to bring discipline in humanity, I do accept. But this very same and very sane humanity has often mostly misused God[yes, I kno what I am saying]. If a person wishes to achieve mental peace he prays. If he wants to be successful,he prays. If he desires something, he prays. If he's mercenary, he prays. What the hell..!! Man prays and god listens[though i doubt his organ of hearing, because I doubt his form of being]. Cant this selfish man stop for a moment and thank him for what all God HAS given you already?? good health.. good parents.. food.. shelter.. home.. brethren.. a society..a nation.. this brain.. this desire.. this knowledge?

Itz high time that man stops asking god.

Itz now time that he thanks Him.

I have Learnt

I have learnt that people waste time expecting success without acting and eventually waste their whole life.
I have learnt that more women hate me than men.
I have learnt that that it’s not great to give your life for someone, but help them get theirs.
I have learnt that every man wants to be a woman's first love, and every woman wants to be a man's last love.
I have learnt that some people are like crocodiles. When they open their mouth, you do not know whether they are smiling or planning to eat you up.
I have learnt that we must do the worst job on our best day so that our worst job is turned into a best one.
I have learnt that many people hate me, but a tonne people love me, for each person who hates me.
I have learnt that the best way to speak is to stay silent and let the person ahead understand it all.
I have learnt that giving 100% is the only way to be successful.
I have learnt that to earn bread for a meal, one must strive for a day.
I have learnt that the world is far better than what it seems.
I have learnt that sometimes we have to pay the most for things we get for nothing.
I have learnt that sometimes you have to give away the best of yourself just to be yourself.
I have learnt that the best way to insult myself is to compare myself with somebody else.
I have learnt to cry in the rain so that my loved ones don’t see me crying.
I have learnt that walking through the same lanes again and again can be really good,provided you have a good company.
I have learnt that small places are called pigeon-holes, but I like the term.
I have learnt that avoiding things is not the way to escape from them.
I have learnt that enjoying the smallest of things can drive away the greatest of sorrows.
I have learnt that you cant profit unless you learn to risk.
I have learnt that at the last day, we don’t remember the strokes of our enemies but the tears of our friends.
I have learnt that falling and rising is the best form of stability.
I have learnt that I must not Take things, if I am not ready to Give them.
I have learnt that God exists for us not only to ask him for more and more, but also to thank him for what all he has given us.
I have learnt that only a heart can understand an other one.
I have learnt, that how much ever I run, be it a yard or a mile, my body warms up.
I have learnt that tempers can be hotter than magma and lava, but only to cool down as cold as ice.
I have learnt that how much ever you care about some people, they just never understand.
I have learnt that we must complete what we’re saying before others complete their listening.
I have learnt that the bloodline does not matter, but yes, cold blood does.
I have learnt that we really miss people we lose to death, but they still do live in our memories.
I have learnt that freedom of speech is mostly sought in place of freedom of thought, which is seldom used.
I have learnt that a smile is the best mask for it can hide just anything. I recommend it highly.
I have learnt that our morality sometimes betrays us, and others still know we possess it, with the slight difference that we do not deserve it.
I have learnt that this life, this living… must be loved a thousand times !
I have learnt that experience is totally personal, and nobody apart that person learns from the experience. And the best way to know this is… History repeats itself!!

Alone, and Independent !!

Ahh ! oh pleasure !!
I hear again that wondrous sound..
The clanking of those chains..
To break the iron bonds on wrists..
only that were unhappy bound !

I cross the threshold to look above
The eagle has learnt flying high
It has left its nest n shell
And completed it's lessons,
It'z now ready to rule the sky.

I walk away and see the snake
It has shed it's skin
The world today has changed so much..
No more exists the happy old lamp
And neither does its jin.. !

Wake up O Me,
Look out and see..
The world has changed n so have you
The sky for you, is no more blue !

The old day for sure were beautiful
Try making the present ones even more
The past is done and present is to be
Try enlighting your own lamp
And that's the last of the store

My walk must be a run now..
I dont want to follow any path
But make one and leave a trace
My independence is my sceptre
And success is an aftermath.

FOR THE HUMAN PHOENIX

A desperation is all a phoenix doesn't have

Because it knows its future

He knows the heat of his burning ashes

He knows that shall help him nurture

The phoenix goes into ashes by will

He kills himself by self's wish

But then makes sure old times come

Makes sure he'll then nourish

We must learn the biggest things here

It's easy rising after you fall

But after you fall and rise

Make sure you get back all

Alone

Alone do I wake
Alone I answer the call
Alone do I bathe
Alone I do it all

Alone have I my lunch
Alone do I start the day
Alone do I dine
Alone do I travel my way

Alone search I the crowds
Alone stare I the stars
Alone do I hear my shouts
Alone do I fight my wars

Alone do I dream big
Alone, do I crave
Alone shall I take pain
Alone shall I lie in my grave

Alone to me may troubles etch
Alone I may, with sorrows groan
Alone, although, when YOU feel YOU are...
Let me tell you- you're not alone !

The Last Meet

The white spotless crescent
in the starred night
Was charming the present
exiling darkness with light
I walked the way
tottering aimlessly in wait
And my friend arrived
I felt so great !
I felt no fear with him
for me the world was fading
Senses were nearly trim
we continued cascading
We were meeting the last,
if only destiny could make us meet
Time was melting fast
and we said each word sweet
No tear came
we wished the other
Would last see the smile same
and no tear would bother
So many things unsaid
had to be left
We didnt say them
and time finally swept
And then that day,
I understood what a friend was !
And come what mayI
'll never forget him even if in front of me, death was!