July 22, 2010

The Silver Pen

“This is going to be the longest thing I’ll ever write.”

The words kept ringing in Shalini’s mind. And as if echoing by themselves, they kept on coming back to them.

Shalini was 23, an attractive and smart South Indian girl. She had dark, understanding eyes and was unusually fair to be a southie. She worked as a Public Relations Officer for Geroo Pens Inc. With her flair, she almost handled every thick situation with such an ease, that a person might wonder if she were asked to negotiate with a burly old man, or were to swing a 3 month old.

But still, today had been even more weird. As she lay resting on her couch after a long, hard day, she couldn’t stop thinking of the day’s happenings.

‘Of course!’ she thought, ‘It’s not everyday that a Padma Bhushan awardee walks into a pen store him/herself.’

She had to accept that she had been absolutely amazed when the legendary Neela Dey had walked into the store, in her reserved dignified gait. Neela, unlike approaching any sales person, had directly walked into Shalini’s office chamber.

“I’m Neela Dey.”

“Hello madam, I’m Shalini for Geroo Pens Inc. How may I help you?”

“I had sent for a private catalogue” Dey had it in her hands already. “I just wanted to confirm one of the designs.”

‘Another loaded one.’ Thought Shalini dryly.

It had been happening since about a year now. Surprising clients had walked in straight into her office with a private catalogue straight from her boss. She knew Mr Ananth Venugopalan was an influential man, but she had learnt how much when she had big, important people walking into her office, clutching carefully the catalogue whose copies were only dispatched from the personal chamber of Venugopalan.

“I want the SY143 in silver, monogrammed with my initials.”

“Yes madam. I will need you to fill this form.”

Dey’s butler took a step forth to take the form, but Dey stopped him mid way and asked him to step back.

“It’s just an elementary form, Narayan. I’ll do that myself.”

“Yes madam.”

Dey took the form in her hands as Shalini offered her a pen.

‘Big shot, them all!’ Thought Shalini. She wondered about the thing again. It was definitely no coincidence. All the VIPs that had walked in straight had asked for the same pen model to be custom made (although in gold or silver or platinum or studded with gemstones, varying as per what they afforded to spend on a pen). They had all filled their form themselves when atleast a dozen more people could have done that.

And then came there last sentences, which invariably sent a chill down Shalini’s spine. And this was no different.

“This is going to be the longest thing I’ll ever write.”

And for a moment, Shalini thought she saw a gleam of the wicked in Dey’s eyes. She just could not understand.

“This pen is going to be special”

“I have a lot of expectations from this pen”

“This pen is going to create history, girl!”

“This is going to be the longest thing I’ll ever write.”

Shalini stirred quietly on her couch, also remembering the black cat that had crossed her way. ‘Oh ! have I started believing in the superstition I chide at my mother about?’ and plugged the latest A R Rahman into her ears. As she found herself lost in the beautiful music, she just never understood when she slept off.

As Neela Dey returned from Geroo Pens Inc and stepped into her villa, her husband roared onto her.

“WHERE THE HELL HAVE YOU BEEN?”

‘Such a cynical waste of a man!’ she thought.

“I was to Connaught Place to fly kites!” she said mockingly.

“I have no time for your sarcasm, Neela! TELL ME WHERE YOU WERE !”

“I have no time for arguments.” And she started walking away.

Ram Dey crossed into her and slapped her.

‘YOU SCOUNDREL.. wait till my day arrives!’ she thought.

“Tell me what were you doing in Geroo.”

“Geroo is a pen shop. I bought a pen. That’s what you do from pen shops.”

“don’t you try being smart with me, Neela.”

“I bought a pen. You heard me. I have an alibi, this is Shalini Mathur’s card. Call her. Confirm it.”

“That I will.” He snatched Shalini’s business card.

The moment Neela was left, she fled into her room and locked herself.

As she slumped into the couch, she could not hold back her tears.

Their marriage had been a buzzkill. Ram was not at all the handsome, gentle, understanding man she’d met at her cousin’s sangeet. The underworld don was hidden behind that beautifully handsome face. Ram had been weird from the first day of their marriage. Their home had voice activated security.

“Bazzinga!” Ram had said as he walked his bride in.

“Too weird for a password, isn’t it?”

And from the horrible life that followed, Neela was glad it was Bazzinga and not Bazooka.

Within 3 days, Shalini called up to tell Neela Dey that her pen was waiting for her.

Within an hour from the call, Neela hurried inside and walked out without a single word.

Shalini had an uneasy feeling that whatever was happening, wasn’t happening good. It was going to be an apocalyptic day.

The next morning’s Times Of India’s headline was “Padma Bhushan awardee Neela Dey arrested in suspicion for husband’s murder”

Her insides churned in and out and over. She became sick and puked off.

Her younger brother, Prasad, 17, carelessly ruffled the papers for the day’s movies.

“The Man with The Golden Gun today on HBO, 9pm” He announced to nobody in particular.

And then it all came crashing down to her. She was shocked and disgusted at what she had been a part of, though unknowingly.

When she called Venugopalan to tell him she wished to try a job elsewhere, he politely asked her to continue on for the month, considering it was the 25th day of the month.

Unwillingly, she accepted.

When she walked into her office, she was surprised to see the honourable Home Minister for State in her office, waiting for her.

“I have a private copy of your catalogue, and I want an SY143 customed for me in silver and gold, studded with jades. May I have the form, please?”

And she disgustingly thought, “This is what they call a continuum.”

July 8, 2010

Pin the Staple

Haven't all of us been ushered home from the local restaurants and hotels and joints?
Haven't all of us been shouted at for eating "what those western people eat !" and also for not eating "what we have been cooking since generations, and what our ancestors have meticulously planned for a wholesome nutrition!"


Agreed folks !
Indeed that's quite some conversation from our day to day lives, innit??


When I say 'Pin the Staple', I'm not at all referring to the stapler and its teeny-weeny pins, but rather to the staple diet of people.
It's indeed true that our people have taken quite a lot of efforts in planning our daily food. Let's all have a quick glance at it.


A typical Maharashtrian taat will have poli, bhaaji, chutney, varan-bhaat, dahi/taak, koshimbir, loncha and occasionally papad. Koshimbir takes care of fibres and roughage, dahi of lactose, varan-bhaat of carbs, the toop and lemon flavour on varan-bhaat takes care of fats and Vit C, papad and varan take care of starch and proteins, bhaaji and loncha and chutney of the various vitamins, minerals, salt and fibres. What more could one ask for ?!


A Punjabi thaala has makkai di roti, sarson da saag, daal makhni, chaawal, dahi/makkhan, salad and chutney. Roti gives carbs, saag gives protiens, daal gives starch, rice gives carbs, dahi/makkhan gives sugar, lactose and fats, salad gives vitamins, minerals and roughage, and chutney the rest.


A south indian meal would have rice providing the carbs, the saambar/rasam giving proteins and vitamins and minerals (considering it contains SO many ingredients), chutney and oil provides fats and essentials, their stew finishing off the other job. The coconut milk provides minerals and proteins in great proportions, and milk is but an essential component of their meals.


We'll not much enter other Indian meal types since they are more or less, slight modifications of the above stereotypes.


Now let's go global.


Italian meal consists of pasta and rice. The pasta sauce contains tomatoes, veggies and garnishing which all scores at the carb-vitamin-roughage-minerals count. Cheese makes up for the fat. The rice again makes up for proteins and carbs and starch alongwith the fish curry, another rich diet bomb.


Even the dumb, ancestor-less Americans score at a burger/hot dog. A veg cheese burger has veggies, cutlet, cheese and sesame on the bread. Veggies and salad provide minerals, fats and roughage, cutlet makes up for proteins and starch, bread is just another form of a roti, and hence gives the carbs. Cheese gives fats and so does sesame. The sauce that accompanies gives sugar too. Likewise is for hot dogs, just with the difference of a few ingredients.


The hot dog reminds me of our very own darling vadapav.. The ingenious vadapav is a wonder in itself. The hot steaming vada in the neutral pav, with the assortment of chutneys, ocassionally with the maska... Aah ! That's the life of a true Mumbaikar...
The potato is the avatar of sabji, the outer covering for roti, the fats included due to frying, and the inputs providing the rest !

Vada pav = 295 calories

small Rotis = 60 calories

Potato sabji = 105 calories
Hence, small roti + sabji = 165 calories

Hence 1 vadapav = 2 servings of roti-sabji !

Ain't that relieving?

So the point was, there definitely are parallelisms in all staple diets. This was just an effort to pin point those.
Pin the staple !

:D :D