July 2, 2022

Fridays

Monday morning i kiss you lightly
Some times when you're snoring
Sometimes unaware that I'm up
And leaving with a heavy heart
I hate the flight and I hate the airport
And I hate every cab that distances us 

Six hours later when I land in a different city
Yours is the first text I seek
And mentally I start counting the hours
Until Friday Night

Mondays are the longest and hardest
On my mind and body both
The hour count seems impossibly away
But in the evening i atleast get to see you
On the other side of the screen

Tuesday mornings I'm on for work
And you're my first call of the day
As is for Wednesdays Thursdays and Fridays
Every morning afternoon evening night
You're in my texts
But every moment you're in my heart

Friday afternoons are so much happier
The hours are finally in single digits
The airport is fun, the flight is cheerful
Because its taking me close to you

As the plane slowly descends
The city lights brighten up my mood
Friday nights I bury into your arms
Friday nights I be home again

Friday nights my kisses are always harder
Friday nights my hugs are always tighter
Friday nights I'm the happiest in the week
Friday nights have no nightmares,
Just a beautiful Saturday morning
To wake up next to you..

February 17, 2022

Hollow

There's a hollow inside
Persistently present
Making me realize
The true value of your loss

That hollow is a reminder
Of every unkind word to you
Of every unkind deed to you
Of everything you were to me
that I wasn't to you

You held my hand 
Since I was a little girl
I held your hand back
Since your legs gave away
Since the disease started
gnawing at you
Taking you away,
Piece by piece

I am haunted by
Your last few days
And shamed by
my behavior then
I should have been kinder
I should have been wiser
And you didn't hate me then too

I miss you
The form of you before
The disease took you away
First the mind
Then the body
Then I guess, all of you

I miss how you cooked for me
Took me in, shielded me
Taught me, scolded me
How you were possessive of me

I see a little of you in me
How can I not?
I grew up with you

And now I choose selfishly
How much of you to keep
How much of you to let go
How much hollow to feel
How much of the hollow to fill