The Bay of The Awaited
July 2, 2022
Fridays
February 17, 2022
Hollow
There's a hollow inside
Persistently present
Making me realize
The true value of your loss
That hollow is a reminder
Of every unkind word to you
Of every unkind deed to you
Of everything you were to me
that I wasn't to you
You held my hand
Since I was a little girl
I held your hand back
Since your legs gave away
Since the disease started
gnawing at you
Taking you away,
Piece by piece
I am haunted by
Your last few days
And shamed by
my behavior then
I should have been kinder
I should have been wiser
And you didn't hate me then too
I miss you
The form of you before
The disease took you away
First the mind
Then the body
Then I guess, all of you
I miss how you cooked for me
Took me in, shielded me
Taught me, scolded me
How you were possessive of me
I see a little of you in me
How can I not?
I grew up with you
And now I choose selfishly
How much of you to keep
How much of you to let go
How much hollow to feel
How much of the hollow to fill
December 17, 2021
The Bay of The Awaited
Will you sail with me
For the journey that’s ahead?
I set sail a long time ago
But I’ll pull you in
On this voyage to
The Bay of the Awaited
Some destinations will await
Before the last and final one
A lot of this journey is planned for
But so many courses are unchartered
And I need an explorer, a compass bearer
Will you be that for me?
You know what awaits
Some strong tides
Some kind winds
A few hardy storms
A million wondrous sights
Thousands of sunrises
Bringing promises of tomorrow
And thousands of sunsets
Setting down all past
There shall be seasons of joy
And of gloom, some of impending doom
Some seasons when it may all seem
To wreck and fall apart
I can ensure we sail through
I promise to be
the anchor, the sail,
the captain, the help,
the chef, the medic
the friend, the confidante
Everything you can need
And then some more
Maybe on some days
You can be that too
Do you have what it takes
To embark on this voyage
To the Bay of the Awaited?
A loving smile, a penny for a rainy day?
A brave head and a kind heart?
Also some gumption
And patience for the family?
Come over then, for I am ready
Let’s sail off into the sunset
Into the Bay of the Awaited
August 2, 2021
Serendipity, knack and a gurgling stomach
My wok heats up and I take out some mustard seeds. My cumin seeds are already ready in the cover of their container.
I see tiny bubbles in my hot oil, my instinct precise.
I add mustard seeds and cumin seeds to the oil and wait with baited breath.
"Mee maja harapun basle ga.." Asha-taai's melodious voice fills my kitchen.
I add hing, the smell telling me my tadka is going to be a success. I sing-along to Asha-tai, my head nodding to the beautiful words.
I never knew when I got transformed into a cook.
I know it was the pandemic that closed all doors suddenly one day and one has to eat. While most people resort to their trusted formulations that at times fend off days, I cooked fresh food thrice a day.
What I didn't predict for myself was my instinct, my knack of taste and my balance of heat.
Yes, I am a chemical engineer. I understand how it's all a play of heat transfer and mass transfer while carefully balancing flow and pressure.
It's as if my equations float around in the air invisible to other but quite vividly to me. It makes sense you know, and it's just like drawing perfect circles or a neat square with its shapely orthogonal finishes.
The smells, the taste, the heat, the stroke of my ladle on my wok.. seems just like poetry to me..
Something that's meant to happen so naturally..
"Mee maja harpun basle ga.."